Dear Lucy: There is this creepy guy at work who is always trying to give me advice. If I go into the lunchroom he sits beside me; if there is a meeting, he sits beside me. He is always telling me things that I need to do to be more successful or get ahead at work. The problem is that he is not liked by anyone and frankly he needs to take his own advice. He's not making passes, just getting on my nerves! I don't want to blow up on him. How do I get him to go away?
Dear PH: So why don't you tell him to go away???? There is no rule that says you have to sit with him or listen to him. If he won't move, you can move.
You can also tell him you don't appreciate his conversation. Why can't you just be honest? He must be saying something that resonates down in your soul. Or perhaps you are simply a very polite person....I don't know.
Could it be that his advice makes sense to you?
I recall at least two instances in the Bible where advice comes from unsuspected places. In one instance, a donkey spoke. In another, angels spoke. Could you be entertaining an angel without recognizing it? Could this man who seems creepy to you be the donkey sitting in the road trying to give you a lesson and a warning?
You didn't say that there was something wrong with his advice. Can you open out a place in your mind and heart for the possibility that he may speak with wisdom? Maybe he does not expect the things that he is telling you to work for him but feels that they can for you. Maybe he has found you to be the person that he can safely speak his truth to.
Sometimes when we give advice we really are speaking to ourselves and just need to hear it out loud. Have you ever found that the very advice you so willingly give to others is the advice you need yourself? It happens all the time.
Have you tried any of the things he has said? Really? Don't throw the baby out with the wash. My mother would use this euphemism when we got stuck on how things appeared and in our haste to reject them we threw away the good part with the bad.
I once knew an older Jewish man, who was very humble, quiet and always wore the same old shiny black suit. He was exceedingly wealthy and wise. When he spoke, I listened to every word. He had long ago retired from his life's work and simply spent time being a quiet blessing to people who had to get past his appearance to be willing to take his sterling advice.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to try some of this "creepy" guy's advice. Just test what you feel safe testing. It could be that he sees possibilities in you that you are not able to see in yourself. We can usually tell when someone has our best interest at heart. As long as he is not giving advice that goes against your values or sense of honesty what do you have to lose?
At least three times in my life I received advice from very, very unlikely sources that changed the course of my life. Every time it was advice that I did not ask for! It just showed up when I desperately needed to be told directly what to do.
"O taste and see that the Lord he is good." The Greek word used in the Bible for taste means "to perceive, to discern." Sometimes we say that something "just left a bad taste in my mouth." Is this gentleman's advice leaving a bad taste in your mouth or is it just his looks, status and demeanor turning you off? Use your gift of discernment and don't let your ego block a gift from your soul.
(Check out Lucy Shaw's website at http://www.heartworks4u.com. You may send your questions to her by U.S. mail to: Heartworks4U, LLC; 4646 Poplar Ave. Ste 201, Memphis, TN 38117 or by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.orgThis email address is being protected from spambots.)
(For help with the feelings that get in the way of prayer and peace of mind, get Lucy's new book, "BE NOT ANXIOUS." Order it directly from her at 901-907-0260 or go to her web site www.heartworks4u.com.)