Dear Lucy: I do not love the life I am living now, period. I read your column, I love it, but the truth is that I don't like anything about my life right now. I am so disgusted with myself because I cannot shake these feelings of unhappiness. Help!
– Signed: KB
Dear KB: Your letter was longer but I shortened it for the sake of the column. The word perception is defined as how we see things. How we see things has a lot to do with what I call the "lens" of perception, or what we are expecting to see. Perception is also colored by time. Are we seeing through the lens of the past, present or future?
You are simply speaking of a bad case of discontent. Discontent with the present is a wonderful indication that it is time for a change, time to ask yourself the hard questions, time to be true to yourself. Most of all, discontent drives us to make a move.
When the discomfort becomes unbearable many of us will finally move. That is negative motivation. That is depending upon outward circumstances and an uncomfortable environment to make decisions for us. That is not living in the ever-present now and now is all we really have.
A much better motivation is to be true to yourself, your own desires, your own talents, self-appreciation and beginning to create a life that you can love. If you don't like the one you are living, then be honest, take full responsibility and make one that you can love. Only you can do this for you.
Are you stuck in the past? That's probably guilt and unforgiveness. Guilt over past mistakes, should'a, could'a and didn't. Let them go and forgive yourself for every past mistake.
Stuck in the future? Then you are stuck in a fear of the present. We all have times when we don't trust ourselves to make right decisions and it seems easier to just daydream about not being in the reality of the moment. However, it is what you think and do right now that creates your future.
If you are not happy in your now, not loving the life you are living, then your spirit is simply asking and urging you to do something different, to perhaps be with someone different, be in another place. Focus on being true to what you are feeling and only make the decisions that have to be made right now. Don't waste your precious now deciding on what can be decided next week. Listen closely to your soul's urging. Give God credit for having great intentions for your life! Trust yourself to listen, interpret, to be honest, faithful and obedient.
Every path is a path of and for perfecting us. I look back on the experiences that I felt at the time were horrific mistakes ten years ago. Now, I see them with perfect clarity, knowing that they were not mistakes. They were corrections on my path. Had I not endured them and allowed myself to find the lesson in them, I would not be who I am today and I would not like myself nearly as much as I do.
Believe it or not, the world is actually a friendly place and God has a plan for each of us. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, "for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
God's expected end for you is good. Why not spend your time in the present moment with your thoughts in line with God's thoughts of peace for you? Allow and accept an expected end of goodness.
The greatest power you have is the power to choose...the power to decide. Today you can decide for peace and joy in your life. It is simply a decision and one that you will have to use your will to affirm over and over until you break the habit of believing that you don't deserve to be happy right now. I will be doing a seminar on the "Power of Will" on in Wednesday through Friday (July 20-22) at First Unity Church. You may call my office for details, 901-907-0260.
The time for living is NOW!
(For help with the feelings that get in the way of prayer and peace of mind, get Lucy's new book, "BE NOT ANXIOUS." Order it directly from her at 901-907-0260 or go to her web site www.heartworks4u.com.)