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Take stock of the parts that really matter

Are you living the life you would love to live? This is the question I ask every new client who comes to me for Life Mastery Coaching. 
 Lucy Shaw
 Lucy Shaw

(Lucy Shaw is a Life Coach, Spiritual Advisor, and International Speaker with over 30 years of personal and professional leadership experience. This is the first installment of her weekly Living the Life I Love column.)

Are you living the life you would love to live? This is the question I ask every new client who comes to me for Life Mastery Coaching.

If you are asking for help in mastering the undesirable things that life seems to throw at you, it’s probably time to look at your whole life!  So I ask people to take an inventory of the different parts of their lives that really matter. These can be divided into four or more parts but the ones that matter the most are: Relationships, Finances, Career or Work and Spiritual.  

As you look at each of these, ask yourself, “Am I loving the results I am getting in each of these areas of my life?” You may be doing great in two of them and not so hot in the others.  But any time any one of them is out of whack, or “twisted”, the negative feelings you send out about that one tend to affect the rest. And then, you may feel great about your job, but hate your boss!  The negative feelings about your boss will slowly erode the good feelings you have about your job.  

The really big and most common negative emotions are Fear, Jealousy, Hatred, Revenge, Greed, Superstition and Anger.  The positive, winning vibrations are Desire, Faith, Love, Sex, Enthusiasm, Romance and Hope. The ones that people talk to me about the most are how to handle the negative emotions as they show up in our career, relationships, finances or relationship with God.  For this column, you may write to me about anything in your life you are trying to master.  

Today, I have a question from a reader about “hate”.  

Dear Lucy: “What do you do when folk hate on you for something that makes no sense or when you did nothing to deserve the viciousness?”

Dear Reader: You could spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out the “why” and feeling so unworthy of the mistreatment that you crawl into a hole. You could also get mad and strike back, call them out, call them haters and stupid and give back the same negative energy. However, this just means that you create a space for the negativity to go on and on.  I don’t suggest that you just roll over and become someone’s punching bag either.  But here is what you can do:

Is there any truth in what’s being said?  If so, own it, whether others like your truth or not. Then throw away the rest!

Decide how you feel about you!  In spite of the attack, the anger and sadness you feel about it, make a choice to love yourself anyway.

Most important, know that you are not responsible for what others think or do. You are responsible for how you respond emotionally to what others do relative to you.  Choose the response that you can live with.  

If there is something you feel led to do about it, don’t act until you have handled steps 1-3 and make sure your motive for acting is not negative.  

At the end of the day, you just want to get a lesson and a blessing from the experience!  Don’t stop praying and working it until you’ve gotten that lesson and blessing.  

Until next week, embrace your lessons and blessings,


(Check out Lucy Shaw’s web site at www.heartworks4u.com.  You may mail your questions to heart Heartworks4U, LLC, 4646 Poplar Ave., Ste. 201, Memphis, Tn., 38117; or e-mail This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. )

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