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Flirtatious co-worker, overbearing aunt & a boyfriend who’s a felon are all in the mix

Yvette-George 600The Dilemma: My co-worker is very flirtatious, he's married & I'm not interested. I have a boyfriend and my co-worker goes too far sometimes. What should I do?

The response: First, you should have a discussion with your co-worker to make sure that your assumptions are valid. If they are, then shut him down graciously concerning his intentions. Do not lead him on or partake in any situations that may be construed questionable.
If the problem persists, then you may need to mention it to your boyfriend. This should be a last resort, because this could lead to an altercation. Let your co-worker know that you are going to inform your boyfriend about his advances toward you. See if this warning is enough to get him to back down.
If not, tell your boyfriend. Then ask him if he has a peaceful solution in which you all come to a diplomatic understanding? I'm sure that you all will come up with a positive resolution.

The Dilemma: My Aunt serves as the matriarch of the family. She is the oldest living sister of our mother. She feels she has the right to pass judgment on the men/women in our lives (nieces, children), because she gives out our monthly allowance. She is wealthy and was designated "executor" of our mother's estate. We are all 25 and older. None of my four siblings and six cousins seems to be upset. They choose to live their lives and don't care what my aunt thinks; which causes so much conflict within our family.
I don't want to be disrespectful, but it has gotten out of hand. Our Aunt wrote a declaration and expects us to live by it. My boyfriend is a convicted felon. He just got released and we have been together 7 months. I have a history of dating bad men. Do you think I am wasting my time and should move on? Or stick with him, even though his ambition and self esteem are low. Is it worth taking on my Aunt over him?

The response: Heck no! This is not a battle you need to fight. Where did you meet a convicted felon? I'm sorry you have given this man seven months of your life. But it's time to move on. This is just a (bad girl) whim. Since you stated that you were older than 25, you've lived a little. It's time to grow up and secure a career and/or a family.
Your aunt is not going to approve of this choice. One of the best questions to ask – "Is this man husband material or a toy boy?
He is not the one. You will know; don't just do it because you are scared and lonely. Rise to meet the challenge, make sure you know what type of man you want. Find a new group of friends, get out and socialize. It's OK to attend events alone. Talk to relatives; check the media. There are many events posted and lots of them are free. Maybe you could volunteer, visit a religious facility, or join a club. I could go on, but you get the message.
As far as your Aunt, the fact that you don't want to disrespect her should go a long way. Ask her for advice; see if she knows any eligible young men. That will definitely impress her and let her know that you are taking her wishes seriously. In her own way I think she is trying to protect you all; especially since you have money. There are many freeloaders and scammers just ready to spend your money. Show her that you appreciate her concern, but enjoy life, wisely.

(Stuff Happens, Then What? is an advice and relationship column that answers questions about life issues, situations and challenges. Send questions and dilemmas to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .)


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