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I forgive but I can’t forget. Now what?

LucyShaw-160Dear Lucy: I have been ill for some time. I read your articles and you have said that the most important part of healing is forgiveness. I have tried to forgive those who have hurt me so much but I cannot forget what they did to me. My pastor says that when we forgive it is not complete until we forget. How do you forget?
– Still Sick

Dear Still Sick: Most of us have been told that forgetting and forgiving go hand in hand. I don't agree. Memories always live in us at some level, conscious or unconscious. There are many things I thought I had forgotten only to have them pop up one day under unexpected provocation.

It is not that we forgive and miraculously forget the slight or the hurt. What we must do is forgive and also let go of the sting, resentment, vengefulness and anger over the memory of the hurtful event.

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Richard Sherman: NFL’s proposed N-word ban ‘almost racist’

nwordban 600The NFL Competition Committee has been engaged in talks since last Friday, discussing a variety of issues important to the league. One such matter is the proposed 15-yard penalty on players using the "N-word" on the field. Seattle Seahawks player Richard Sherman is against banning the word, calling the potential rule "almost racist" in an interview.

According to Sports Illustrated's MMBQ, there remains a chance that the N-word ban may not go into effect, but there could be a higher focus on language during games by officials. As it stands, the committee will weigh the option of referees giving players a warning before issuing any deeper penalties.

Sherman, the outspoken defensive player and All-Pro, feels such a ban is unnecessary. The Stanford graduate and Compton native shared his thoughts with MMBQ in his typical brash fashion.

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MATA carries record number of bikes in 2013

matabikeride 600It happened 24,096 times during 2013. That's how many times a bike rider strapped his or her bike on the front of a MATA bus to continue a journey.

MATA provided the figures Thursday (March 7th). They reflect a nearly eight percent increase over the prior year.

"It is impossible for MATA to have service up and down every street in the community both from a time and expense perspective," said Tom Fox, MATA's interim president and general manager. "The 'Bike and Ride' commuter is someone who wants to take advantage of public transportation but isn't necessarily within walking distance to a bus stop either from their point of origin or destination. With bike racks on every bus, we are able to safely and conveniently accommodate that customer.

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‘The Education Before the Education’

lougossett 600When Oscar-winning actor Louis Gossett Jr. spoke Tuesday evening (Feb. 25th) at the University Center Theatre at the University of Memphis, he spoke from the topic, "The Education Before the Education."

Co-sponsored by the Student Event Allocation, Gossett's address covered such topics as progress and issues concerning race. He provided the audience with insight and wisdom, a characteristic of someone who's learned from his experiences.

And Gossett has quite a bit of experience under his belt. For example, in 1953, when he was 16 years old, he landed his first major role in the Broadway play "Take A Giant Step." He beat out 400 other aspiring actors, which launched his career.

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In the battle to end ‘the seduction of inadequacy,’ I’m with Lupita

lucyandlupita-600For me, nothing could eclipse my happiness for Lupita Nyong'o when she won her Oscar as Best Supporting Actress a few nights ago. I was not only thrilled for her but for the profound, timely and necessary message brought to the world by the movie, "12 Years a Slave." This young woman has taken Hollywood and the movie-viewing world with her extraordinary poise and humility wrapped around her awesome talent.

What may not be widely known is that just a few days before her Oscar win, Lupita received an award at the seventh annual Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon hosted by Essence Magazine. Her award was for Best Breakthrough Performance. On this occasion she delivered the speech below.

I concur with most who heard it that it is (sadly in 2014) a speech about beauty and self-image that every young brown, black, red or yellow girl should get to hear. It was first posted online by Time Magazine. I found a video and transcript at upworthy.com.

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