TSD Memphis

Thu04172014

Opinion

Watching our thinking, speaking and doing

Dear Lucy: A friend of mine passed away recently. A lot of the people, who did not like her and made no secret of it, suddenly have nothing but good things to say about her. Why are people such hypocrites?
 
 Lucy
Shaw

Dear Lucy: A friend of mine passed away recently. We worked together and she was an unusual person. You either really liked her or really did not like her. She died suddenly and so a lot of the people, who did not like her and made no secret of it, suddenly have nothing but good things to say about her. This just gets on my nerves.  Why are people such hypocrites?

– AW

Dear AW: I wish I knew the answer to your question. Perhaps it is guilt or they are trying to adhere to the rule that says, “Speak well of the dead.” Sudden death also has a way of reminding us that life can end anytime so we should try to do and say the right things. There is also the saying, “judge not, lest ye be judged.”

I was reading something this morning and the author said we should “strive to let our thoughts be kind and truthful, then match our words to our thoughts and our actions to our words.” Often we don’t do this. We sometimes like to say that someone brings out the worst or best in us.

While it is true that being in the midst of certain vibrations can be catching, we are still each responsible for our own thinking and seeing to it that it is kind, fair and truthful. This is like the admonition to “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight…” or “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” All of this has a way of catching up with us and requires a great deal of self-discipline.

Let’s focus on being so thankful for your friend’s wake-up call to the rest of the world around her. You have no idea of the guilt, shame or despair that her passing may have caused those who did not like her. They will spend some time re-thinking how they treat others or what they say about others. Perhaps for some, this will be a lasting change.  For others, it may pass. But at any rate, we can be grateful for the good that they are choosing to think right now.

Watching our thinking, speaking and doing,

Lucy

(Check out Lucy Shaw’s website at http://www.heartworks4u.com. You may send your questions to her by U.S. mail to: Heartworks4U, LLC; 4646 Poplar Ave. Ste 201, Memphis, TN 38117 or by e-mail to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .)

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