25 Aug 2011
- Written by Lucy Shaw
Dear Reader: As usual, I must tell you that what you will get in this column is my opinion and not medical advice. I have been looking at emotions and their effects for a long time. I just finished writing a book on the effects of positive and negative feelings. In it, I tell the story of someone who had an awful break up with a man. This man seemed to be her dream guy. She trusted him; they had great fun together and seemed to be a perfect match. He told her that he loved her and things seemed great!
Then, in a very surprising way, she found out that he had lied about being married and had done so very skillfully. She was a coaching client and came to see me to manage the profound hurt and anger. She described her anger as “boiling hot!” She also said that she was so embarrassed by being made a fool of that the shame for being so stupid was just unbearable. In passing she said that right after the breakup she had developed an awful boil in an embarrassing location.
In ancient times, anger was often described as boiling, hot or fiery, especially in the Bible. The emotions that this lady was feeling were so intense that the body found the quickest and easiest way to get rid of them. (We are fearfully and wonderfully made, you know.) She was also embarrassed because she had unintentionally become adulterous. She would never have courted a married man and this added to her anger and sense of betrayal. So, all of this played into the location and the appearance of the boil.
Now this is just one of the examples I can share with you about boils. We used an Emotional Freedom Technique to quickly resolve her anger and almost miraculously the boil disappeared just as quickly. You might think of recurring boils as a sort of “slow boil” of anger and frustration.
So, just ask yourself if you are holding on to some anger or deep hurt that makes you feel helpless over something or someone that you would do well to let go of. Sometimes we have been living with a negative emotion such as anger for so long and think that we cannot do anything about it, that it becomes a companion, always simmering just below the surface of our awareness. When the pot boils over, the boils appear and they become the distraction that keeps us from dealing with the real thing that we are angry about.
Just a thought, just an opinion. This may not be your story. I just find that our thinking is our best ally. It can warn us of changes we need to make. If we pay attention instead of wishing them away, we can change our lives for the better.
Taking the pot off the stove!