Log in

Relationships, listening & the ‘better’ factor

listenup-600Building a case for better relationships through better listening, Florida A&M University professor Chandra Clark offers these tips for becoming "more active, engaged listeners."

CONSIDER THE COMMUNICATION CONTEXT. The physical setting, time and location of a communication exchange may well impact its reception. For example, if you have a sensitive message for someone, it may be better to speak in person or by phone rather than via text or email.

PARAPHRASE/ASK QUESTIONS. With this strategy, we repeat what we think the other person has just said, but using our own words.

For example, you could say something like, "So what I hear you saying is..." This gives you the chance to clarify whether you have properly understood the other person. It also gives them the opportunity to correct any misconceptions you might have regarding the communication. Likewise, asking questions of the other person is also a way to clarify what has been spoken. Paraphrasing or asking questions decreases the chances of you jumping to conclusions, and it also communicates to the other person that you care.

PAY ATTENTION TO FEEDBACK. Feedback is the verbal and nonverbal responses of receivers during the communication process, and can be either positive or negative. Nodding, texting, yawning, and giving eye contact are all examples of feedback and can alert us to what the other person is feeling or thinking (no matter what they actually say). We can respond effectively to feedback in many ways. For example, if our listener gives us a quizzical look, we might rephrase what we have just said, or ask them if they have a question.

NOTE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION. The aforementioned feedback examples are also forms of nonverbal communication, which also includes tone of voice, gestures, all body language, etc., and can also shed light on the other person's thoughts or feelings. In fact, according to research, between 60 to 70 percent of our communication is nonverbal.

BE MINDFUL OF GENDER AND/OR CULTURAL DIFFERENCES. For example, studies show that men and women generally communicate differently. Men tend to focus more on what is said during a conversation, while women tend to focus more on the relationship between the speaker and listener. While men seek comprehension, women seek empathy and connection.

According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, all human beings have a need to belong. We achieve this sense of belonging through our relationships. By improving our communication skills through becoming better listeners, we can enhance the quality of these relationships, and thus, our overall quality of life. So listen up!

(Chandra Clark is an assistant professor in the department of English and Modern Languages at Florida A&M University. Join Clark on Feb. 7 at 6 p.m. for a live Twitter chat for expert advice on relationship building through better communication. Follow @ FAMU_LivingWell.)


0 #23 patch.com 2014-11-22 00:25
Hi, of course this article is trruly pleasant and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging.

Alsoo visit my web-site; identity protection - patch.com: http://patch.com/california/lajolla/the-best-methods-for-identity-theft-protection -
0 #22 singles 2014-11-21 18:22
When some one searches for his required thing, thus he/she desires
to be available that in detail, therefore that thing is maintained over
0 #21 notincom.com 2014-11-11 12:53
There aгe somee ssrious ѕide effects of using Estrogen ѕuch as heart attack, blood cot and
stroke. TҺе steroid reservoir ɦas a cylinder ԝhich
contains a mixture of polydimethylsil oxane ɑnd levonorgestrel.
Mirena Crash іs the name people Һave gіven tߋ a set of side
effects that occur oncе the IUD iѕ removed.
0 #20 www.raindrop.dk 2014-10-24 23:13
Fiгst of ɑll, іt makeѕ the bodyy think hat you arе pregnant thujs preventing tɦe ovulation. Ƭhese range from hair loss to infertility tоo Mirena
weight gain. Mirena Crash іs the name people
Һave given to a set of side effects that occur
once tҺe IUD is removed.
0 #19 mass ping 2014-09-28 17:25
WOW just whatt I was looking for. Came here by searching for mass backlink
0 #18 clash of clans hack 2014-09-25 21:23
If somme one needs to be updated with latest technologies therefore he must be pay a
visit this site and be up to dqte everyday.
0 #17 Kendrick 2014-09-09 05:11
Howdy! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out
and say I genuinely enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/ forums that cover the same topics?

Appreciate it!

my blog post :: dating advice For Men; Kendrick: http://articleinternet.info/Get-My-Ex-Back-On-HubPages.htm,
0 #16 http:// 2014-09-09 04:08
I believe this is among the most vital info for me.
And i am happy reading your article. However want to statement on few general issues, The site taste is wonderful, the articles is actually excellent :
D. Excellent task, cheers

Feel free to visit my weblog; http://kerritazewell.wordpress.com/: https://www.hobbylocal.com/node-blog/what-are-some-things-you-can-state-when-you-desired-your-boyfriend-back/99116
0 #15 relationship advice 2014-09-06 22:03
A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you need to publish
more on this subject, it may not be a taboo subject but
usually folks don't discuss these subjects. To the next! All the best!!

My blog post; relationship advice: http://aial.hufs.ac.kr/?document_srl=6068455
0 #14 Dating advice for 2014-09-06 21:11
Hey very nice blog!

Also visit my web site - Dating advice
for Men: http://mdps.kaist.ac.kr/xe/?document_srl=1789765
0 #13 relationship Tips 2014-09-02 13:57
Attractive component of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to assert
that I get in fact loved account your blog posts. Anyway
I'll be subscribing in your augment and even I fulfillment you get
entry to persistently quickly.

Here is my web page; relationship Tips: http://www.systems-biology.org/~myukiko/FCSB2008/doku.php?id=profile_marlonmacdevitt
0 #12 Rickey 2014-09-02 08:08
Hi to all, the contents existing at this web site are genuinely remarkable for people knowledge, well, keep
up the good work fellows.

My blog post - relationship problems (Rickey: http://listbuildingproducts.net/962/how-to-get-your-ex-partner-back-in-middle-school/)

Add comment

Security code